Tag Archives: cheese

All About My Cheddar

Posted on May 28, 2014 by Mark T

Top o’ the morning to ye and welcome to Mastication Monologues! Today’s post involves an Irish pub with plenty of class and delicious food. I’m talking about Lady Gregory’s located on the north side of Chicago. The name references a female Victorian Irish playwright who penned “Playboy of the Western World”, a play made infamous due to its scandalous reference to underpants. Ohhhhh my! She faced plenty of resistance and even death threats from audiences until Teddy Roosevelt saw the play and praised it. Looks like the king of “Bully!” stopped the bullies, and Lady Gregory’s menu contains the same sassyness the original Lady Gregory possessed. It ranges from flatbreads, salads, soups, burgers, and big plates. Plus, they have plenty of alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages to wet your whistle.

As for the layout of the restaurant, it has both indoor and outdoor seating. Janice and I chose to sit inside, so we were ushered past the impressive wrap-around bar to the area known as “the library”. Why? Simple. It’s an actual library that has walls stocked with reading material to go along with your eats and a few board games as well if you’re not entertained with simple conversation. After looking over the menu, I went for the ultimate grilled cheese ($10) and a side of champ ($3.50). My meal eventually came out, and it looked great. When they say the grilled cheese is “ultimate”, they mean that every element of the sandwich is coated, stuffed, and/or infused with cheese. *Cue Homer moment*. It was unlike any other grilled cheese moment I’ve had in other parts of Chicago or in my life. First, the bread was a Parmesan encrusted sourdough that had plenty of crunch, cheesy flavor, and consistency to support the flavor bomb that was ticking between the slices. When I bit through the beautiful bread, I was greeted by an avalanche of lava hot cheeses: Gruyere, Irish white cheddar, mozzarella, and brie to be exact. While these smooth and flavorful cheeses were cascading down my palate, I also managed to catch some of the mashed tomatoes in the waves of dairy along with some delightfully smoky yet sweet, candied bacon pieces. I’d highly recommend this delightfully rich in flavor but not in price plate. The free pickle on the side only “sweetened” the deal with its sour, dill crunch. As for the champ, it’s an Irish take on mashed potatoes. Called brúitín in Gaelic or “poundies”, this side takes basic mashed potatoes and combines them with butter, green onions, and milk. A simple food that packs plenty of complex sensations into a humble bowl. While the potatoes were extremely creamy, the rich butter contrasted with the semi-strong green onions that introduced a bit of attitude like a champion side dish should have.

So if you want to have some great versions of simple meals that won’t cost you a pot o’ gold, check out Lady Gregory’s!

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Posted in American Cuisine, Comfort Food, English, European Cuisine, Irish and tagged bread, butter, cheese, Chicago, English, grilled, Irish, mashed, northside, onions, potatoes, Pub. Bookmark the permalink.

Five Fingers Full of Burger Fury

Posted on May 16, 2014 by Mark T

Welcome to another edition of Mastication Monologues. Today’s post is not about a food that is extremely disgusting like some of my posts in Beijing or Korea, but rather a dish that has been adapted throughout the world for local tastes. What might that be? The hamburger. This simple, extremely meaty riff on a classic sandwich is often considered to be the quintessential American food alongside hot dogs and apple pie, compliments of a certain clown and golden arches. However, today I will be talking about Five Guys, the new kid on the block when it comes to expansive burger chains.

Although the franchise started back in 1986, it hadn’t really caught on like wildfire until 2003 when they expanded to their current status of having over 1,000 locations in 47 states and 6 Canadian provinces. The concept behind Five Guys is simple: fresh, made to order burgers with handcut French fries that are made each day. The quality shone through on the most recent occasion I visited since I have already been there. Their menu isn’t very elaborate offering mainly hamburgers or cheeseburgers, hot dogs, and some sandwiches that cater to the vegetarian crowd. This time around, I got a cheeseburger ($6.20) and a side of Five Guys fries ($2.50). You also have plenty of options to choose from in terms of toppings to put on the burger, so I went “all the way” with mayo, lettuce, pickles, ketchup, mustard, grilled onions, and no mushrooms but you can get them if you like grilled fungus on your burger. The cool part about Five Guys was that I could watch them make the burger from grill to completed product along with my fries in the deep fryer. They were efficiently assembled, and I received my order in a paper sack. I opened up my mini aluminum silo of beef to find a burger that was stacked with two substantial patties and two slices of American cheese along with all of the toppings I mentioned. I had to step back and admire this bad burger with the same reverence that Edmund Hillary probably had before scaling Everest, but I sallied forth into the wilderness that was my cheeseburger. From the first bite, I was hooked. The juicy beef patties and creamy cheese laid the foundations for the lighter condiments to shine especially the savory grilled onions. The ingredients were superb, but construction-wise, this burger was a real leaning tower of flawed artistry. Bigger doesn’t always equal better especially when trying keep the burger together. I suffered from a mix of Newtonian physics and plate tectonics in food form where the patties would rub together with the liquid condiments and would slip in the opposite direction of where I was biting. Thus, half my burger almost ended up flying out the back end of the bun onto the table top. Never a good look. Once I demolished that beefy behemoth, I turned my attention to the wonderful fries that were spilling out of the cup and filled some nooks and crannies of the bag. These fries were obviously hand cut due to their irregular shape and still having the skins on them. I noticed the slightly nutty flavor the peanut oil imparted to this classic partner to the burger. They toed the line in terms of being too salty, but then again, I’m not a huge salt fan. Based on previous experiences, I wouldn’t recommend their Cajun fries because they always seem to overdo the seasoning which makes the fries taste more like a spicy salt lick than potatoes.

Overall though, I’d highly recommend Five Guys burgers and regular fries that are pure Americana. I pledge allegiance to the pure flavor of the United States of Burgerdom, and you should too!

Man’s Stomach’s Best Friend

Posted on April 29, 2014 by Mark T

Today’s entry on Mastication Monologues is a short one and the penultimate in my Florida food chronicle. My final lunch on vacation took place in an eatery called Dune Dog Cafe located at 775 N. Alt A1A Jupiter, Florida. I didn’t know what really to expect in terms of food, but my parents were raving about it.

So when we arrived, it was a small, tropical shack of sorts that was all open air dining which once again made me wonder what they did when the winds and rain picked up as they always seemed to do in the afternoon in Florida? Pondering aside, it looked like the natives were quite restless as a line streamed out the front of the hut as we attempted to find a spot in their meager parking lot. After about 45 minutes of leaning up against our rental car, baking in the noon sun, and watching crowds of urchins wrestle with each other as their mothers attempted to corral them, our reservation name was called. We made our way around to the back part of the restaurant. It was more relaxing since we didn’t have hordes of hungry diners giving us the evil eye for not eating quickly enough. After looking over the menu that had mainly American food like burgers, salads, hot dogs, and chicken wings, I went for the last option. Ten wings with half barbecue sauce and half sesame sauce. The prices were very reasonable (5-12 dollars for a meal. Apparently, one of the waiter’s mom’s worked with my mom’s friend who we were eating with, so we got a free appetizer called “Yankee nachos”. Being Yankees ourselves, we found it interesting that they see us as people who only eat potatoes instead of tortilla chips. Regional differences aside, this was one tasty platter. It consisted of waffle fries piled high with all the classic nacho toppings like two types of cheddar, olives, guacamole, onions, tomatoes, and jalapenos. Once we all polished that off, my wings came out, and they looked like a smaller version of Hooter’s wings that I am ever so fond of. As for the taste, I was greatly satisfied. Not only was there plenty of meat, but the crisp batter, smoky barbecue sauce, and slightly aromatic sesame sauce really made me think that something this great for the cheap price was fowl. Actually, the only thing that ruffled my feathers was the bleu cheese dressing that seemed oddly acidic. Nevertheless, as I wiped the sticky saucy aftermath from my fingers and mouth, I could see that Dune Dog truly did live up to the hype.

So if you want to check out a great family restaurant that has a beach vibe far from any sandy shore, hit up Dune Dog Cafe.

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Posted in American Cuisine, Burgers, Chicken Wings, Hotdogs and tagged bbq, cheese, chicken, Delray Beach, dining, Florida, Food, hamburgers, nachos, restaurant, Reviews, spicy, Travel, wings. Bookmark the permalink.

The Cradle of Deliciocracy

Posted on April 28, 2014 by Mark T

Tikanis, people? That’s “what’s up?” in Greek which is the language spoken at today’s reviewed eatery in, you guessed it if you’ve been reading my latest entries, Delray Beach, Florida. If you haven’t been reading through, some highlights include me taking down a giant chicken sandwich, eating a breakfast jammed in a burger, and a sexually titled sushi platter. So, after having Italian the previous day, I wanted to continue the Mediterranean theme with a proper Greek dinner or maybe I just had a hankering for some good Feta cheese.

After a bit of sleuthing through the online food directories, I found Zorba’s Taverna that had a lot of great reviews where people raved about the tasty eats at reasonable prices. Perfect. It didn’t look like much from the outside as it was located in a strip mall, and coming from Chicago, I’m normally used to them looking like the white-washed buildings in Santorini. The sign on the door, on the other hand, already provided me with a taste of the Greek hospitality to come (thankfully sans broken plates). The place was moderately busy, but the seats quickly were occupied as we managed to beat the crowd rushing the doors trying to get out of the rain. Our waiter slowly sauntered over, and he seemed slightly off for some reason I couldn’t put my finger on. Nevertheless, he was amiable. Inside, Zorba’s Taverna was the Greek diner I was expecting complete with a classic Hellenic blue and white motif everywhere along with a fitting tribute to the Anthony Quinn film that serves as inspiration for the restaurant’s name. After looking over the menu that had all of the classic Greek dishes that they’ve served since antiquity like spanokopita, souvlaki, and baklava along with a couple newer Greek innovations like saganaki that was reinvented right in Greektown in my hometown of Chicago. My mom got an order of the saganaki ($8.95) for us to share to start off. For those who have never had the pleasure of trying saganaki, the name describes how the cheese, in this case vlahotyri, is melted in a frying pan since saganaki is the diminutive of sagani or a “frying pan with two handles”. The cheese is then eaten with a spritz of lemon and maybe a sprinkling of pepper. Once Greek immigrants came to America, they served this gooey cheese dish to diners, but as I mentioned before, the Greeks in Chicago added a bit more showmanship to this humble dish. What can add panache to any sort of performance art like preparing and serving food? Fire! If you visit most Greek restaurants in the Chicagoland area, you can experience something like this. Strangely, in Florida they didn’t set the cheese ablaze but rather placed it on our table with a whimper along with a free plate of pita triangles and hummus. The saganaki sans flames was still delicious with a salty and citrusy flair to each forkful. As for the hummus and pita, I don’t know if they do this for every patron or if we were the 100th customers, but it was a great perk to our visit. The pita was warm and fresh, and the hummus was creamy and evenly spiced with a liberal splash of olive oil. We then ordered our food where my dad got the tzatziki platter ($4.95), my mom got chicken souvlaki platter ($12.95), and I got a side of dolmathakia ($7.95) and the roasted Greek chicken ($14.95). Eventually, our food came out, and it all looked great. My dad’s tzatziki or cucumber sauce was thicker than I was used to compared to back home in Chicago but didn’t affect the overall quality. My mom informed me the chicken souvlaki or shish kabob was very dry. On my plates, on the other hand, I found nothing but mouth-watering choices. The dolmathakia consisted of cooked grape leaves that encased fluffy grains of rice with spices and just the right amount of dill that was further enhanced by the translucent dill broth that these mini-grape loves were stewing in. I got a free Greek salad on the side which was verdant and scrumptious along with the creamy pieces of Feta that scratched my itch for cheese like the big rat I am. As for my chicken, although it couldn’t hold an oil lamp to some of my Greek friends’ mommas’ cooking, it was alright for Delray Beach. The chicken was so well prepared that it literally fell apart as soon as I touched it with my fork. From the oregano coated skin to the juicy white meat interior, I was in a state of apotheosis as a foodie during this meal. Unfortunately, then it went downhill from the average green beans to the less than noteworthy potatoes on the side that were quite bland and hard. The tumble from the top of the Mount Olympus of food ended with a definite thud.

So if you’re looking for mostly lip-smackingly good Greek food that’ll make you shout Opa! down in Delray Beach, boogie on down to Zorba’s Taverna.

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Posted in European Cuisine, Greek and tagged bread, cheese, chicken, dance, Delray Beach, flames, Florida, grape leaves, Greek, pita, rice, salad, shishkabob, tzatziki, Zorba. Bookmark the permalink.

Getting All Sazzed Up

Posted on April 27, 2014 by Mark T

Today, I’m going to write you a blog post you can’t refuse to read. If you have a hunger that cannot be satisfied with a typical burger or fried chicken joint, I found Sazio in Delray Beach. It’s an Italian eatery that truly believes in the idea of abbondanza or abundance as I “quickly” found out.

After working my way through Delray’s various food genres, I was in the mood to mangia some good Italian food. While I did see that there were various pizzerias up and down the happening Atlantic Avenue, I wanted to see if there was any restaurants that could take on more substantial representatives of the Italian food famiglia. This is where Sazio came into the picture. It was a bit further away from the beach, but that didn’t mean that they weren’t doing booming business the night I visited. They have both indoor and outdoor seating, and I opted for the latter due to Delray’s impeccable weather even at night. The robotic but seemingly warm hostess told me it would be another 15 minutes for a table, but I saw there was a two-top (two person table in non-restaurantese) open on the patio. Having worked as a host in a restaurant before, I wasn’t going to hassle her about the table being open since I knew there were other seating arrangements they might use that table for. So I settled on looking at the menu while I waited. I could see they had a litany of sandwiches, salads, pastas, pizzas, and entrees. However, I was sad they didn’t really have any standards from Chicago like chicken saltimbocca or chicken vesuvio. Eventually, I was seated, but I had to once again wait at least 5 minutes for someone to come to my table similar to Lemongrass Bistro in my previous post. It seems that service is overall bit slower in the South compared to the North. Thankfully, I knew I wanted the chicken bruschetta sandwich ($10), so I just had to choose a drink. I went for a glass of the Ruffino Chianti 2009 that had fruity notes but a definite acidic bite for an aftertaste. As for my meal, it eventually came out, and it was quite intimidating. I think they might have sandwiched two full chickens between the fluffy, crustacular ciabatta bun halves. I slowly unhinged my jaw to take a bite, and after the first chomp I was impressed. Not only did they have monstrously large pieces of chicken breast in the sandwich but also a tomato relish, slices of fresh buffalo mozzarella, delicate arugula, and a balsamic glaze atop the mountain of greens to add a slight tang to the more mild mannered meal. The side salad was good but was a mere footnote when compared to the behemoth it shared a plate with. Sazio managed to reinvent a classic Italian antipasto with real gusto that left me one felice (happy) diner.

So if you’re ever in Delray Beach and are looking for a lot of good food for a reasonable price, check out Sazio on Atlantic Avenue!

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Posted in Alcoholic, Beverages, European Cuisine, Italian, Red Wine, Wine and tagged arugula, cheese, chicken, ciabatta, Delray Beach, Florida, Italian, mozzarella, Sandwich, Sazio, tomatoes, Travel. Bookmark the permalink.

Dude…Mellow Out…Try This ‘Shroom

Posted on April 21, 2014 by Mark T

After a week of fun in sun in Florida, I’m finally back in Chicago to wait and see if I finally get a job that would really be great for my career as a language instructor. However, in the meantime I would like to present you with a bunch of posts relating my crazy food adventures in the Sunshine State. Today’s entry involves a popular destination in Delray Beach, FL that is as delicious as it is funky in nature, Mellow Mushroom.

I had originally read about it on Wikitravel as having very creative pizza creations, so that naturally whetted my appetite for adventure. We visited the fungus-inspired eatery on our first day in Florida, and the weather was beautiful. They don’t have a lot of parking aside from their crackerbox-sized lot behind their establishment, but luckily street parking is plentiful out front. They have both indoor and outdoor seating, but we opted for the latter in order to enjoy the sublime sun and breeze. As we were led through the restaurant, it had a very laid back vibe to it with lots of psychedelic artwork along with some very well known pop culture references I enjoyed. The artwork and name of the restaurant made me wonder if they had a secret menu of “special” munchies based on the surroundings along with a sign that said, “Hippies use the side entrance”. Far out, man…would be a good way to describe their menu in regard to their prices. It’s not the cheapest pizzeria you could visit, but they certainly do have creatively named and designed pies (From 10 inches to 16 inches; gluten free dough is available as well) as I mentioned earlier along with sandwiches, salads, calzones, and appetizers. I started off with a brew that I picked solely based on the name: Monk In the Trunk ($7).

Daaammnnnn shorty!

Like its title, this ale had plenty of aftertaste flavor as spicy and malty sweet flavors had a twerk-fest on my palate much to my elation. As for pizza, I had the option of creating my own, but I instead wanted to see what the cooks in the back could whip up to satisfy my soul. There were plenty choices that looked scrumptious, and eventually I settled on the 14″ Thai Dye pizza ($20). When it came out, I immediately felt the good vibes with how fresh it looked. It wasn’t as hefty as Chicago pan pizza but not as floppy as NYC’s slices. I loved the fresh cucumber slices and fresh basil on top since they were drizzled with a sweet chili sauce that left me with a smoldering kiss with each bite. Taken as a whole, the staff managed to combine a Thai chicken curry dish with a traditional pizza in perfect harmony. The chicken was groovy and not rubbery, and the curry spices jazzed up the cheese every so often. Eventually, I reached the crust which was chewy with a slight crunchy crust on the outside. The most peculiar part of the crust was that it had ever so subtle cinnamon notes that I noticed through the garlic butter that was brushed on before going into the oven. I almost finished the entire meal, but I was all carbed out by the end and could go no further.

My date home.

So if you’re looking for quality, creative, and crazy pizzas at slighty expensive prices, rock out at Mellow Mushroom.

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Posted in Alcoholic, American, American Cuisine, Beer, Beverages, Pizza and tagged basil, Beer, cheese, chicken, crust, curry, Florida, mushrooms, pizza, sauce, Thai, tomatoes. Bookmark the permalink.

Hauntingly Delicious (Portland, Part 3)

Posted on April 2, 2014 by Mark T

Boo! Scared ya, didn’t I? Today’s Mastication Monologues entry will be dealing with another Portland institution that I visited during my brief yet enjoyable stay there. After a long day of learning about how to be a better teacher and help my students speak the Englishes more good, I knew I had to get out and see some of the city. After looking over Wikitravel, I decided to get one of my favorite foods, pizza, at Old Town Pizza. There are two different locations, one in the northwest part of the city and the other, the brewery, on the east side of the river. However, reading further I found out the northwest location on Davis is supposedly haunted and a “must-do” for anyone who comes to Portland. Ghosts and rave reviews? I’m sold!

The actual story of the ghost revolves involves sex, slavery, and mystery. Back in the late 1800s, some of the local timber barons built the Merchant Hotel where Old Town Pizza now stands. Along with offering guests rooms and beds, the hotel also had the option for customers of the male persuasion to buy hookers to help them “enjoy” said rooms and beds. One girl, Nina, was sold into this prostitution ring against her will. Thankfully, a local missionary group was attempting to shut the hotel/bordello down, and Nina became an informant for them. Unfortunately, she suffered a terrible fate for her attempt to shut down the house of ill repute as her corpse was found at the bottom of an elevator shaft which is now a booth in the restaurant. Maybe you’ll be lucky enough to see the ghost of this departed dearie…

Anyway, I managed to find the restaurant quite easily after a quick stroll through Portland’s underwhelming Chinatown. I knew it was going to be a quirky place when it said on the door that they only were closed on Leonardo da Vinci’s birthday. I don’t know if that’s a joke or not, but I did enjoy the randomness. Upon walking into the dark interior, it added to the ambiance of it being a haunted former hotel. The staff was the Portland I was expecting complete with tattoos, ironic facial hair, and plenty of piercings, but that didn’t take away from their service. They supplied me with a menu, and then I had to order at a booth that was attached to the kitchen. Note: the entrance was the former lobby of the Merchant Hotel, and the ordering booth was the reception desk.

Ordering booth

I put in my order of a small original house pizza which contained signature pepperoni, salami, mushrooms, olives, bell peppers and topped with house made sausage. . 10 inches for $14.50 is a little expensive for my taste, but then again I was on vacation in a haunted restaurant. They gave me a playing card with the two of diamonds on it as their way of keeping the orders straight, and it’s the only place in the world I’ve seen them do that. I then moved on to the bar next to the ordering booth where my hipster bartender hooked me up with an Old Joe Chocolate Dark Ale that was brewed at the Old Town Brewery. Once the pint glass of dark ambrosia was in my mitt, I had the task of finding my own seating. To my dismay, my original seat I scoped out was already taken. So after wandering through the packed restaurant I found an empty seat that would accommodate me and make Harry Potter feel at home since it was under the staircase going up to the second floor. It was a lot more comfortable than it sounds since I had plenty of room for my head, and I would describe it more as a cozy experience.

Nina’s corpse was found along the back wall of this room where I ate.

After about half an hour, my hand tossed pizza finally came out. It looked wonderfully flush with toppings, but I had a hard time trying to find the cheese under them. It was piping hot, so I sipped on my Old Joe while it cooled off. I really liked the ale because it was a full bodied libation that had whispers of chocolate/coffee in every drop. Eventually my pie cooled off enough for me to actually touch it, but I found the bottom crust to be quite floppy which I really didn’t like since the toppings were cascading down my fingers as I attempted to transfer a slice to my smaller plate. I was eating it with a fork and a knife for the wrong reason. The only type of pizza I should be eating with a knife and a fork is deep dish because it’s piled so high with toppings, not thin crust because it doesn’t even have the constitution for basic ingredients. Structural problems aside, I found the flavors and ingredients to be delightful. The peppers stood out for me as they weren’t soggy and baked to have a crisp, clean snap that jived with the savory and spicy pepperoni. It didn’t seem like they focused a lot on the cheese since it was buried under waves of ruby red marinara sauce that was slightly sweet but not overwhelmingly so. Then at the end of each piece, there was a substantial crust that was on the chewier side and had a strange but pleasing cinnamon undertone. By the time I finished the last piece, I was stuffed with some hauntingly good pizza.

I don’t think it can measure up to New York or Chicago pizza, but Old Town Pizza is a slightly pricy but quality dining experience with plenty of ambiance that won’t scare you away.

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Posted in Alcoholic, American, American Cuisine, Beer, Beverages, Pizza and tagged Bar, Beer, cheese, crust, haunted, hotel, olives, Oregon, pepperoni, peppers, pizza, Portland, sausage. Bookmark the permalink.

London (Days 4 and 5)- When the Disco Hits Your Eye Like a Steak and Kidney Pie

Posted on March 15, 2014 by Mark T

As if day three in London couldn’t get any wilder, day four was extra crazy as my friends and I went off to have dinner at an Italian eatery called Bunga Bunga. It’s located in the Battersea area of London which is just south of the Thames nearby the posh Chelsea neighborhood. It was a dining experience unlike any other I’ve had in my life, so I hope this installation of Mastication Monologues can adequately describe the madness that is Bunga Bunga. I’ll also cover my pre-match meal before seeing Tottenham Hotspur play in north London later on in this post.

So, Bunga Bunga. If you aren’t up on your geo-political happenings or history in general, politicians are known as getting things done, both good and bad. In Italy, there is a man named Silvio Berlusconi (former prime minister of Italy) who is one part politician, one part business tycoon, and one part Lothario. That last part is where the restaurant gets its name from because “Bunga Bunga” is a joke that became synonymous with sex parties he threw for his friends and cronies complete with hookers, drugs, and bribes to keep everything hush hush…until recently when all of these allegations came to the surface.

Need I say more?

With all of this info in the back of my head, I was wondering what sort of mischief Bunga Bunga had in store for its diners. As soon as we walked in, I didn’t see any saucy vixens, but there was plenty of Italian kitsch adorning every square inch of the walls. We knew it was a unique place when the servers would randomly break into a choreographed dance routine accompanied by pumping Italo-techo music in the middle of the restaurant (much to their annoyance). I kind of felt bad for them since the novelty of it wore off after the first time. Anyway, we started our meal off with three fancy mixed drinks (12 pounds each) that ended up being fantastic and hilarious since they sported names of famous Italians. I got the BungaBunga which was served in the head of a winking Berlusconi. It consisted of gin, Martini Fierro, peppercorns, and grapefruit juice. It was light and spicy with a bitter aftertaste, kind of like Berlusconi’s eventual fall from grace. My friend Ravi got the SuperMario Monti (the prime minister of Italy post-Berlusconi) which was basically gin combined with muddled cucumbers which was cleaner and more refreshing than my cocktail.

My failed attempt at winking.

As for my friend Bob, he’s a big footy fan, so he went for the Chellsi Balotelli (maverick soccer player who now plays for AC Milan) that had rhubarb vodka, rhubarb puree, cranberry juice, lime juice, and bitters all of which made a sour and strong drink. Fitting for a man more known for his off the field antics and sulky personality. For appetizers, we then got a side of cheesy garlic pizzicato (5.95 L) and cheese and spinach bruschetta (6 L). The former was ok since it was starch combined with cheese, but I wouldn’t get it again since it was a bit too oily for my liking. As for the latter, I liked the addition of spinach to modify the traditional bruschetta recipe, but once again it was extremely oily that kind of put a damper on the meal. For the main course, we ordered three different pizzas (range: 9-13 pounds each). I got the Ruby Loves (11 L); Bob ordered Chef Share-issimo’s Favorito (13 L); and Ravi’s a vegetarian, so he got The Naughty Napolitano (10 L) that had gorgonzola and pears on top. Bob’s and my pizza were brought out on a long board like some sort of meaty centerpiece for a Roman feast. My choice consisted of N’duja soft sausage, salami, and cherry tomatoes. It was tasty with the savory and salty meats but greasy once again (notice a trend?). As for Bob’s side that contained rosemary seasoned lamb and chili, I liked it better because the lamb was expertly roasted and proved to be a lighter, less greasy topping compared to the pork products on my side.

So.much.grease.

I needed something to cut through the Mediterranean Sea of grease in my mouth, so I got their specialty, Ferrero Rocher gelato, for dessert. It did the trick as my palate was coated in a molto delicioso wave of semi-dark chocolate ecstasy with interspersed crunchy Ferrero Rocher candy pieces.

Free wine and ice cream. Veni,vidi, vici!

As the night went on, the place filled up with plenty of party goers as the stage was filled with a variety of performers like a cabaret singer, a magician, and karaoke singers.

Abra-ca-blabra. Make with the magic.

NOTE: If you want to go to the discoteca upstairs, make reservations for that in addition to your table. We made that mistake and were confined just to the first floor. Either way, it was a fun time aside from a brief upset stomach compliments of the greasy food. I recommend Bunga Bunga to anyone if you’re looking for a crazy dining experience, but I don’t think I would make it one of my regular haunts.

The following day was a bit rough given that we left Bunga Bunga, got crazy in the Clapham neighborhood, and didn’t make it home until 3 am. Thankfully, it was laid back as Bob and I just spent most of it watching football or soccer in Amurikan. Before watching the League Cup, Bob and I got lunch at a cafe nearby White Hart Lane. While I was contemplating doing the English breakfast that had everything I loved like hash browns and bacon, I decided to go more for a footy classic with a steak and kidney pie with tea on the side. I was disappointed with the pie and tea. The crust was ok, and the insides were coated with a peppery white sauce. However, they were missing a key ingredient: brown gravy drizzled over the top, and the tea looked anemic. As for the pea mash and chips on the side, they were passable. Those were enhanced with the addition of this mysterious “brown sauce” that was in a squeeze bottle on the table that I could only liken to a sweet gravy with a hint of sour aftertaste and a lighter ketchup consistency. This meal was as exciting at the Spurs vs. Cardiff match we saw, but maybe it just required a change of venue. The only highlight was seeing Adam Richman of Man vs. Food fame on the field! At least my last days in London would prove to be much more exciting.

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Posted in Alcoholic, Beverages, Desserts, English, European Cuisine, Gelato, Ice Cream, Italian, Mixed Drinks and tagged Berlusconi, bruschetta, Bunga Bunga, cheese, grease, ice cream, Italian, kidney, Monti, peas, pie, pizza, Steak, tea. Bookmark the permalink.

You Have Been Dvowred!

Posted on February 11, 2014 by Mark T

Well, looks like I’ve surpased the view record once again for my blog today. Why the sudden spike in popularity? I have no clue, but I’m not complaining. The most interesting thing is that it’s led not by interest in the posts detailing me consuming a live octopus, a duck’s head, or even silkworm larva. Instead, it’s a bacon cheeseburger in Itaewon in Seoul. Perhaps there is some sort of comfort in simplicity, but that’s fine with me. Just keep on reading! So, today on Mastication Monologues, in honor of the Sochi Olympics, I bring you the scrumptious Russian food of Gostiniy Dvor!

I’ve had my fair share of Russian or similar cuisines since I’m of slavic descent which means I have a soft spot in my heart (most likely due to the heavy ingredients) for all things cabbage, sausage, and vodka. My friend, Bora, knew this as well, so she suggested that we check out the eatery located at the Dongdaemun History and Culture Park metro stop in Seoul. Come out exit seven, and make a u-turn to the right. Then make a left on the street you run into, and you’ll see it on your left on the second floor. I beat Bora there, so I secured us a table on a weekday where there was no one else in the restaurant. The middle aged Russian lady immediately greeted me with a добрый вечер or “Good evening” which I returned. I sat down, she then brought me a Russian menu. However, she was shocked when I asked for an English menu since I looked like one of her comrades from the Motherland. I could read the Cyrillic on the English menu still, and I saw that they had a lot of Russian classics like блины (pancakes), борщ (beet soup), and пельмени (dumplings). Bora eventually rushed up the stairs, and we got down to food business. To drink, we saw that they had Baltika beer which ranges from 1 to 9 with 1 being a light lager and 9 a hearty bitter. Naturally, we split a 9 which was delicious and not too dark. Foodwise, we split a bowl of okroshka (a thin sour cream soup), a pork cheese cutlet, and lamb pelmeni. The okroshka came out first, and it was a wonderful starter for our Russian food fest. It wasn’t chilled but slightly cold. On top were chives and green onions and lurking below the surface like a couple Soviet subs were small chunks of ham. The cool cream mixed with the onions and cucumbers provided the perfect compliment to the fatty pieces of meat. It only the set us up for the glorious pork cutlet that not only was boneless but draped in a golden blanket of cheese which was inlaid with grated potatoes. It had something fatty (cheese), something meaty (pork), and something starchy (potatoes)=I’d totally RSVP to this dish’s wedding. However, it was slightly salty which might not settle well on everyone’s palate, so just a warning to those who like blander food. As for the pelmeni, they were a bit more understated since they were steamed and dressed with a simple sour cream sauce. The dough’s integrity could have been a bit better since the dumplings would fall apart more often than not when trying to fork them into my gaping maw. Thankfully the lamb was adequately spiced which in turn amped up the flavor of a plate that possibly could have been quite average. By the time I popped the last mini-lamb pocket into my mouth, I was stuffed with plenty of good food washed down with a beer that is in another universe compared to South Korean beer. So quit Stalin and go to Gostiniy Dvor!

Foodie tested, Putin approved

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Posted in European Cuisine, Russian and tagged Beer, cheese, Dongdaemun, dumplings, Food, lamb, pork, potatoes, Russian, Seoul, spices. Bookmark the permalink.

Tokyo (Day 3)- Ainu Where The Good Food Was At

Posted on February 5, 2014 by Mark T

Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to top the theatrics of Day 1 and Day 2 in Tokyo, but Day 3 still had its own unique charms. For example, I started the day off with a more modest breakfast at the convenience store which consisted of some general snack cakes, and a drink that I’ve never seen before: men’s cider. It looked intense, so I decided to give it a shot. It was delicious since it tasted like some sort of pomegranate soda. It gave me the energy to venture forth for another long day of sightseeing which I thought would have culminated in lunch with the yakitori specialists at Toriki, but unfortunately they were only open for dinner at 5:30. Crestfallen, I went on the search for the Pokemon Center in southern Tokyo, and along the way decided for lunch to see what sort of wacky Japanese adapatations McDonalds integrated into their menu. I was extremely disappointed.

Great dishonor to Amurka

I got a burger that had some type of chili sauce along with bacon cheese fries which I only got because they were part of a meal and don’t exist in American McDonalds. I need not go into further detail with this pedestrian meal. Thankfully, the ignominy of lunch was quickly erased with my dinner and dessert.

I had read on Wikitravel that there was a restaurant called Harukor specializing in Ainu (Eye-noo) cuisine in Tokyo which really piqued my interest. Why you might ask? What the hell is Ainu food? Well, the Ainu are the indigenous people of Japan and Siberia who live all the way on the northern island of Japan called Hokkaido along with the Sakhalin Islands. They look different from the ethnic Japanese, but due to intermarriage they no longer retain their unique appearances. There are very few, if any, full blooded Ainu left, and they are subject to discrimination for their ethnicity. They’re known for being astute hunters along with rocking sweet beards and cool woven clothes with distinct geometric patterns.

Dream on hipster beards

So I tried to follow the directions that Google Maps tried to give me, but it led me around in circles. So I asked a tiny, ancient Japanese restaurant owner where the restaurant was. He spoke no English, and I no Japanese. I just said, “Harukor, Ainu, food, Hokkaido”. He paused for a moment and proceeded to run down the street while beckoning me to join him. After about 10 minutes of running through the street, and people wondering why this giant foreigner had an octogenarian running partner, he showed me exactly where it was. Typical friendly Japanese hospitality. For those who don’t want to run with old Japanese guys on the way to your dinner, go to Okubo station and out the south exit. Make a left out the door and then a right and follow the road. It will be on your left. The actual restaurant space was quite tiny in comparison to the other places I ate at, but it had a lot of character with Ainu harp music playing on the speakers and various posters and items symbolizing the Ainu struggle. The guy running it spoke very little English, but realized I didn’t speak Japanese after staring at the all Japanese menu. He quickly busted out the English menu which I was grateful for. He poured me a cup of chilled green tea which was refreshing after a long day of hustling. I eventually went for the imoshito set and the fish soup which are both Ainu foods. It reflected the humble culture these people have when the food came out. The set consisted of a fried potato, pumpkin, and yomogi which according to Wikipedia is Japanese mugwort. The potato one was quite good since it was creamy and even tempered like a fried potato should be. As for the pumpkin, it was a bit surprising because it was my favorite since it had the texture of the potato with a hint of sweetness that enhanced the rich breading. As for the yomogi, I personally liked it because it kind of had a sesame/perilla flavor to it. As for the fish soup, I was less enchanted because there was barely any fish to be found. It was more like a vegetable soup, but it still warmed my soul that night with steamed but not limp watercress, carrots, and celery. It was a nice experience at a place that not many people know about and even fewer about the culture behind the food. Then there was dessert at a separate place called Dairy Chiko. This place is located in the Nakano Broadway B1 floor. You just go north of Nakano station all the way through the covered market to Nakano Broadway, and wander in the basement until you find this booth. I came here to take down the eight layer cone which was a steal for 4 bucks. The guy working the machines was like an artist when he handed me my cone, but he warned me to stay by the garbage cans and hold it straight. I soon set to work on the elite eight flavors: vanilla, chocolate, strawberry, coffee, sesame, caramel, green tea, and bubble gum. Not only was there a ton of ice cream up top, but he filled it to the bottom tip of the cone. If I could pick a favorite, it would probably be the caramel layer (4th down from the top layer). It was completely worth it, and I highly recommend people to seek out Dairy Chiko.