Tag Archives: dining

Is That Falafel In Your Pocket, or Are You Just Hungry?

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Disclaimer:  Watch out how you pay here.  They stole my credit card number, so caveat emptor!

Hello to everyone out there in the blogosphere!  Welcome to another entry to Mastication Monologues.  A bit of time has passed since my last post, but I guess that’s what happens when grad school rears its ugly head.  Anyway, today I’m going to be reviewing a new place that I have never been to before, but I was very happy after eating there.  It is called Falafill and is located at 72 E Adams St Chicago, IL 60604.  It would make a great pit stop before or after visiting the world-famous Art Institute which is less than five minutes away.

They do have an ingenious logo

Now, I’ve had my fair share of Middle Eastern/Mediterranean food with gyros, baklava, doner kebab, and dolma etc. all over the US/Europe, so I was wondering how good this place could be when my friend described it as a place where you create and garnish your own falafel.  All I kept on thinking of was some sort of Middle Eastern Fuddruckers, but I highly doubted they would have one pound falafels for me to tackle in a demonstration of my gastronomic might.  So I decided to visit to see what all of the hubbub was, and I was immediately greeted with free samples outside of the door.  I took the traditional falafel sample which was coated in a typical yogurt based cucumber sauce.  The falafel itself was quite crisp and flavorful with a crumbly, chickpea-based interior that was packed with spice and herbs.  However, I ended up getting the curry falafel which was made of lentils instead of the traditional chickpea falafel I sampled at the door.  When they brought it out to me at the same counter I ordered it at, I was surprised at how large they were as they lay there in the gaping maw of the pita bread that looked more substantial than a traditional unleavened pocket.  With our falafel bread mini-baskets in hand, we got down to business at the “mezza bar” that contained literally a bevy of sauces (babaganouge, hummus, jalapeno and cilantro, harissa, tzatziki, garlic), tabbouleh, and plenty of pickled vegetables like beets and peppers among many other garnishes.

So many dressings and so little time

I was like a kid in a candy store with all of these fresh and powerful flavors, but I festooned my falafel with a helping of babaganouge, hummus, tabbouleh, jalapeno and cilantro sauce, and harissa sauce.  When picking a seat, I noticed something that I didn’t really care for:  communal seating.  At this location, they only had seats along the wall where you face a wall/window or one large table where you sit cheek to jowl with your fellow diners.  I just didn’t like it since it seemed like an invasion of privacy sometimes with conversations, but I guess it wouldn’t matter if you were just there for a quick bite to eat.  Anyway, back to the food.  After semi-attempting to figure out how to lift the pita out of its box without having its contents cascade down the front of my shirt, I just gave up and used a fork.

An example of their falafel with pickled beets, giardiniera, and tabbouleh.

This kind of made me sad and wished that they embraced more of a gyro type of pita that provides more of a wrap/taco kind of sandwich instead of this Muppet-mouthed piece of pocket bread.  Nevertheless, once I took a bite of what was lurking inside the bread, I was thoroughly satisfied.  Below the perfectly fried crust, the curry falafels had the sultry taste of yellow curry.  This boldness was mitigated by the cool hummus, babaganouge, and the freshly made tabbouleh.  However, the harissa sauce and the jalapeno and cilantro managed to jazz up the falafels chilling at the bottom of the bread pocket with a lively and savory kick of spicy flavor.  Plus, once I finished a couple of the top falafels, I was able to lift the bread and eat it like an actual sandwich.  I do have to say that their artisanal baked bread was delicious, fresh, and did not buckle under the stress of the contents of the sandwich.  So, perhaps next time I will order their bowl option to see if that works a bit better in terms of the logistics of eating it.

So if you’re tired of the hamburgers, hot dogs, Italian beefs, and Mexican dishes that are standard Chicago fare, try a new take on Mediterranean food by getting your fill of falafels at Falafill!

Falafill on Urbanspoon

Falafill on Foodio54

Every Dog Will Have Its Day

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Hello to everyone out there in the blogosphere!  Welcome to another edition of Mastication Monologues.  Today I will be telling you about a small establishment called Huey’s Hotdogs located at 1507 W Balmoral Ave (between Clark St & Ashland Ave) Chicago, IL 60640  in the Edgewater/Andersonville neighborhood.  NOTE:  Even though some websites say that they only take cash, they DO take credit cards now.

This food adventure was born out of my fellow classmate’s desire to try a classic Chicago hotdog, but there was a certain caveat that drove us to this specific place:  she’s a vegetarian.  Ergo, we decided to give Huey’s a try due to its large selection of vegan friendly dishes like hot dogs, burgers, chili, and salads.  I, however, was looking for something beyond the typical Chicago hotdog, brat, Italian beef, or cheeseburger.  Instead, I was drawn to a strange option under the Sausages header on the chalkboard menu:  Turducken.  No, it is not some sort of mystical animal that comes from the dense jungles of Grant Park, but rather a Frankenstein-esque creation of Thanksgiving proportions.  What it consists of is taking a chicken stuffed with spice rub, stuff it into a duck with more stuffing, and then put it all into a turkey with, you guessed it, more stuffing.  All of the birds are de-boned, and in the end you enjoy a three-layered meat monstrosity.  Given all of this information, you can now see why I was curious to see how they could synthesize this hybrid meat into sausage form.

All dressed up and definitely has a place to go: my stomach.

When they brought it out to me, I was somewhat underwhelmed by what I was faced with in my plastic basket.  It was served on a typical white bread, poppy-seed covered bun, and the tawny white sausage itself seemed to be grilled along with being cut in half/scored on top.  The actual taste of the meat was very rich with some fatty undertones from the duck and backed up with the heartiness of the turkey, but was somewhat difficult to taste due to the cranberry and horseradish sauce that came on it.  As strange it may seem, this thick scarlet comforter did not taste as terrible as one would may think.  Unfortunately, I thought that it sullied the sausage because the cranberry element completely smothered any horseradish flavors and also almost comprehensively drowned out the Turducken.  However, I was pretty impressed that the bun was not soggy with how much of this cranberry jam they put on the top of it, but it was thick enough to stay on the sausage for a surprisingly clean dinner.  As for the fries that came with the sausage, I was pleasantly surprised at how delicious they were.  They were a medium to dark golden brown and on the softer side with a fluffy white inside, but they had a rich aftertaste that made it seem like they were fried in a different sort of oil.  I actually enjoyed them more than the sausage which was somewhat sad.

As a whole, Huey’s really is like any other basic Chicago hot dog stand aside from their vegan menu.  So unless you’re a vegetarian, you can get basically the same food elsewhere like at Gold Coast Dogs or Wiener Circle without having to go so far north.

Huey's Hot Dogs & More on Urbanspoon

Multum In Parvo

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Hello to all old and new readers of Mastication Monologues!  I have decided to write this blog entry before the overwhelming nature of graduate school manages to kick in and prevents me from even contemplating writing about a restaurant.  This past week has been quite busy gearing up for another semester, but along the way, I had a mini moving adventure with my friend David in downtown Chicago.  After a lot of heavy lifting and a frustrating episode with a U-Haul location on the northside, we finally decided we deserved a bite to eat.  We ended up going to an Italian restaurant called Quartino’s Ristorante and Wine Bar located at 626 North State Street,  Chicago, IL 60654.

My friend David said that I’d like the food since they serve Italian tapas.  Now, after living in Spain and being to Italy numerous times, I didn’t believe that they actually served tapas at an Italian restaurant.  Especially when all of the Italian food I’ve had throughout my life was more about abbondanza and someone telling you to “Mangia Mangia!”  instead of tiny/light portions.  I was pleasantly surprised when I entered the establishment.  We got there at 9 pm, and it was a madhouse with every table filled on the main floor and upstairs.  Obviously, this was a good sign.  So, we quickly got down to business and ordered our entrees:  polenta fries, quattro stagioni pizza, calamari, Tuscan sausage risotto, beef filets, and the organic veal skirt steak.

Fries that will cross your eyes

The polenta fries came out first in a small tin cup wrapped in wax paper that had print on it like newspaper.  This presentation gave it a more street food feel, but the taste was straight from nonna’s kitchen.  The outside breading was crisp and the inside was perfectly seasoned with a pinch of salt.  Thankfully it wasn’t polenta that was too goopy or too dry, but the red pepper sauce on the side was mediocre.  Next came the quattro stagioni pizza.

4 seasons of deliciousness.  Vivaldi would be proud.

It was a moderately sized pizza that had paper-thin, New York style crust that you have to fold in order to keep the toppings from falling all over your shirt.  On top was a thin layer of tomato sauce along with artichokes, roasted peppers, grilled zucchini, Portobello mushrooms, & Grana cheese.  This was probably one of the top dishes of the night (though pizza is one of my favorite foods) since all of the vegetables were fresh, especially the artichokes, and the Grana cheese was thinly sliced over the entirety of the pie which provided a salty kick to the smooth Mozzarella.  The only downside was the integrity of the crust.  The actual bread was delicious and the crunchy crust had a light layer of flour on it, but with every slice that we took, half of the toppings ended up on the pan.  Sorry NY, but I’m just drinking a lot of haterade when it comes to making pizza the right way.  Moving on from regional culinary conflicts, the calamari came out the same time as the pizza, and I wasn’t expecting much out of this dish since I’m not much of a seafood fan.

True fruits of the sea

Thankfully, these calamari rings were partially breaded which allowed the slightly firm squid to shine above the lemon zest, salt, crushed pepper, and buttery breading.  Next came the Tuscan sausage risotto and the beef filets.  With the former, it came out in a little Mount Vesuvius style mound of creamy rice, tomatoes, and peas.  The risotto was extremely rich and dotted with tomatoes that effortlessly blended in with the sauce, and the sausage was portioned out in mini-chunks and was doing a fennel based Tarantella  in my mouth with each bite.  As for the beef filets, they were small medallions of prime meat accompanied by broccoli rabe, red chilis, garlic, and extra virgin olive oil.  The red chilis and garlic mingled with the rabe on top of each slice of the meat like some type of verdant toupee but without any of the awkwardness.  The last plate, the veal skirt steak, was actually a replacement for the pork belly we  originally ordered since they had run out.  It was similar to the beef filets with being grilled to order but was then served with a side of wild Arugala, roasted grape tomatoes, and balsamic syrup.   The salad on the side with the tomatoes and syrup was an interesting mix because the bitterness of the Arugala was wonderfully complimented by dulcet/light undertones of the syrup.

By the end of the meal, I thought that this three-ring food circus was completely over, but my friend’s brother decided to order these Italian donuts called Zeppone.  When they came out, I was overwhelmed at the amount that they gave you for the price and awestruck at how delicious they looked.  They weren’t like the typical doughnuts with the hole in the middle but rather more like mini-Beignets which are served at the world-famous Cafe du Monde in New Orleans.  In addition to these tiny fried pillows of dough sleeping under a thick coating of powdered sugar, we got a dipping bowl of honey and one of chocolate.  These pastries were light, airy, and the chocolate went much better with the buttery dough than the thick and sultry honey.

Che bello!

So if you’re looking for a higher end Italian eatery with a twist on some traditional recipes and serving styles, check out Quartino’s Ristorante and Wine Bar!

Quartino on Urbanspoon

Quartino on Foodio54

Everytime a Cowbell Rings a Devil Gets His Wings

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WARNING:  If you think jalapenos are spicy or if this (see 0:40 and on)happens to you when eating dry chili flakes or do not have a stomach for spicy food in general, do not try this eating challenge!!

Hello to everyone out there in the blogosphere!  I am writing this post after a very eventful and historic day in my eating adventures.  Now for those who know me/read my (amazing) blog, they can tell you that I am not one to shy away from eating spicy foods.  In fact, I seem to revel in the challenge to see how much fire I can eat in one sitting.  One day a certain Man vs. Food host in conjunction with the Travel Channel highlighted a Chicago hot-spot for getting some of the fieriest chicken wings in the nation which I will be reviewing today.  The place in question is Jake Melnick’s located on 41 East Superior Street  Chicago, IL 60611.

I checked out their website to see what exactly these XXX wings were made of, and I found out that they used both the Ghost Chili and the Red Divina which is an extremely spicy strain of Habanero.  Now, the actual heat level of the peppers can vary depending on where they’re grown due to various factors such as rainfall, elevation, and sun exposure.  However, I did the Scoville unit math according to Wikipedia’s page, and their combined spiciness is equivalent to standard issue law enforcement pepper spray.  Somehow this didn’t stop me, so I went there to test my mettle.

The waitress was wary at my request of the XXX wings, and they even make you sign a legal waver containing fun phrases like, “you’re an adventurous spirit who eats chilis for fun” alongside the more litigious “you won’t sue us in case of bodily harm”.  However, since I ordered the wings, I got a free fireman hat that stated I tried the XXX wing challenge along with a cowbell that I could ring if the heat became unbearable.

My bell and my brew (IPA, fyi)

This action would lead to the staff bringing out a “cool off” tray which consisted of a glass of milk, a cup of sour cream, and some white bread.  Little did they know I had the eye of the tiger to finish off the wings.

Hell in a hand basket

When they were presented to me, I was intrigued by how they looked since they weren’t glowing or smouldering or looking like pure evil.  However, I did notice a particular pungent aroma when I moved my face closer to them lying upon each other like eight little red smouldering coals nestled in a little hibachi.  I also got a side of blue cheese just in case I couldn’t handle the heat, and the celery was complimentary.  So I started off with the first wing, and I was expecting to get punched in the face with a fireball of spice.  Surprisingly, I was greeted instead with a savory and slightly garlicky heatwave that just spread the proverbial gasoline on the inside of my mouth.

The first wing goes down for the count

The next four to six wings decided to have a firework party while playing in the aforementioned gasoline a la Zoolander.  At this point, the back of my throat was quite scratchy and almost numb.  My lips and the surrounding area on my face just felt like it was touched up by a flamethrower, and I had a good sweat going on the whole time.  Plus, I kept in mind a key element to eating any sort of spicy food with your hands:  don’t rub your eyes even if you have an itch anywhere around them. I did try a wing or two in the superbly made blue cheese sauce that had whole blue cheese crumbles in it which was so much better than the blue cheese sauces I’ve sampled at Hooters and Buffalo Wild Wings.  While all of this was going on, my waitress kept coming by expecting the cowbell to be ringing out for mercy, but I just kept on truckin’ (like I’d ever stop truckin’ in the first place).  By the last wing, I downed it with gusto as my nose began to run slightly.  Perspiration aside, I knew that I had done something impressive especially judging by the shocked reaction from our waitress.  So I ended up getting my picture up on the digital Wall of Flame and the knowledge knowing that I had survived one hell of a challenge.  Unfortunately, they did not let me celebrate in true Will Ferrell fashion with adding more cowbell to the victory.

So for all of those thrill seekers/chili-heads out there, definitely try the XXX wing challenge at Jake Melnicks.  If spicy food isn’t for you, they also have a great variety of  delicious burgers (including an eight pound burger challenge), barbecue dishes with in-house smoked meats, hearty soups, savory sandwiches, and satisfying salads you can chow down on.

All done and it feels like I’ve smeared lava on my face

Jake Melnick's Corner Tap on Urbanspoon

Jake Melnick's Corner Tap on Foodio54

What Can Brown Do For You? Answer: Delicious Food

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Hello to all of the veterans and first time readers of Mastication Monologues.  If you have never seen this blog before, I write about all of my different food experiences in the Chicagoland area and during my travels in order to broaden your culinary and cultural horizons.  Plus, I would like to think that I could break certain cuisine stereotypes that exist with different types of ethnic foods.  One of the most persistent ones is with Indian and Southeast Asian food.  Often times I have heard from many people that it is too smelly or spicy or simple or causes bad things to happen to your G.I. tract, and I am here to tell you that it is not the case at all.  I recently went to a small Indian restaurant called the Little India located on 1109 West Bryn Mawr Avenue Chicago, IL 60660, and it is a great establishment in terms of hospitality and food.

At first, I was not sure what they meant when they claimed to serve “Indian fusion” cuisine, but upon closer inspection of their menu, I could see that there were some American elements like french fries and chicken soup and even a Chinese entry with Paneer Manchurian.  However, I went with a traditional Pakistani dish called Chicken Shajahani Biryani which was described as, “Chicken marinated in a yogurt sauce, herbs, spices, and served with steamed Basmati rice”, and I could only imagine it got its name from the influential Shah Jahan.  One of the reasons why I chose this dish was that I love the intermingling of tastes when mixing rice and meat together, and from a more economical standpoint, only the choices under the “Rice Dishes” on the menu automatically came with rice.  Just a heads up because my fellow diner did not have the same luck and had to order rice with her Paneer Makhani.

When they brought out our food, I was somewhat underwhelmed by the presentation of the Biryani since it looked like ordinary rice with a couple chunks of chicken put on the surface, but oh how wrong I was.

Chicken Biryani: Geopolitical alliances be damned for deliciousness!

It was also served with a small gravy boat of yogurt sauce filled with diced cucumbers and carrots.  Once I tucked into the mini-mountain of rice, I realized that I made a great choice because the rice was cooked to perfection and huge, golden nuggets of chicken were lurking under the surface.  There was also a slightly spicy hint to each bite which I expected to come with a dish like this, and the yogurt sauce provided a cool contrast to the spicy rice and chicken.  It was white, creamy, and almost seemed like a Pakistani version of the Greek tzatziki sauce that can be found on any classic gyro.  Upon seeing me intake heaping spoonfuls of the dish, the staff asked me if the spice level was alright.  Naturally, I responded with it wasn’t spicy enough, so they actually took it back to the kitchen to make it even spicier for no extra charge.  When they came back, I could see they added more red peppers to the rice, but it gave it only about a Habanero level of spiciness.  The waiter and doorman both joked with me that the cook couldn’t believe someone wanted their food spicier and that they knew what it was like to have a penchant for amping up dishes with more spice.  These chats gave the restaurant more personality than others I have been to in my life where they just want your money and don’t care much for small talk.  I ended up finishing the entire plate which was pretty substantial for the price, and I even tried some of the Paneer Makhani.

It was an odd dish with cubes of homemade cheese in a tomato and cream sauce, but the clash of the somewhat old Swiss cheese aftertaste with the smooth, spiced tomato sauce really didn’t jive well with my palate.  I think I would enjoy both elements on their own instead of combined in one bowl and eaten together with rice.

To sum up, if you want to go beyond your culinary comfort zone, wander over to The Little India to try some delicious food that will convince you that Southeast Asian food is one of the most underrated cuisines in the world.

The Little India Restaurant on Urbanspoon

I Fell Into a Burning Ring of Fire

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Hello to all out there on the interwebs!  Sorry for the immense amount of lag time between my last amazing post and this one, but I have been enjoying the last fleeting moments of my summer before going back to the grind of graduate school.  Anyway, I’m going to be telling you today about a food adventure I had this past weekend in Chinatown in Chicago.  The place in question is called Lao Sze Chuan located at 2172 South Archer Avenue Chicago, IL 60616 which is part of the new Chinatown square which is a bit further north of the older Chinatown.

My friend invited me out to lunch in Chinatown, and she asked me whether I wanted Dim Sum or spicy food.  Now, I had already went to a Dim Sum restaurant (check out one of my previous posts if you haven’t already!), so I went with the spicy food option.  Apparently, Lao Sze Chuan is one of the most popular restaurants in Chinatown, so naturally there was a wait.  However, it didn’t take long for us to get a table.  Upon opening up the menu, I was greeted with the story of the restaurant and all of the famous people who have dined there in the past including one Bill Clinton.  Anyway, there were plenty of options with spicy, chicken, beef, seafood, and traditional Chinese sections to name a few.  In the end, we ended up going with an order of Ma Po Tofu, LaLaLa spicy chicken pot, and double fried sliced pork with cilantro Jiazhou style.

I’ll start off with the Ma Po Tofu since I’m going to be up front with my dislike for tofu (sorry veggie readers).

A delight for veggies

However, I still wanted to try it since I never pass up an opportunity to try something new.  It was served in a brown, pork based broth along with chopped up red chilies, and the small tofu cubes looked like tiny spicy icebergs bobbing in the Arctic ocean.  With my small sampling, there was no arctic chill with this tofu as it was very soft and disintegrated in my mouth instantly with a brief spicy flourish.  If you’re a vegetarian, I’m sure you’d be more of a fan of this dish, but it was dead last during my trip to Lao Sze Chuan.  Moving on to the LaLaLa spicy chicken pot, I am a sucker for picking out food that has a funny name hence my choice.  Thankfully, I did not regret it at all as it arrived to our table on a mini-grill that kept the chicken nice and hot.  The perfectly grilled chicken was marinated in a red chili sauce and came with diced red and green peppers and onions.  It was bringing that heat that makes me sweat which let me know that I was in an authentic Chinese restaurant that didn’t pull any punches with their use of spices.  Even though some of their food might be hellishly spicy, it keeps on bringing people back since every table in their restaurant was full during our four-hour visit, but I digress.  The final choice, the double fried sliced pork with cilantro Jiazhou style, was just alright.  It consisted of thinly sliced pieces of fried pork along with blackened red chilies, whole stalks of marinated cilantro, and celery.

Definitely pigged out on this dish

The only downside was that the cilantro was a bit too overpowering and left a strange, bitter aftertaste.  Plus, the fact that the pork was dry did not go well with so much cilantro.  However, when I isolated the pork, it was very crispy and filled with bacony goodness along with some spicy highlights.

So as a whole, I would rate my visit to Lao Sze Chuan as very enjoyable and would recommend it to anyone looking for authentic (read: very spicy) Sichuan cuisine along with a slice of one of Chicago’s most famous/oldest neighborhoods.

Lao Sze Chuan on Urbanspoon

“Non, je ne regrette rien”

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Hello to all out there in the blogosphere!  I have just returned from my recent food adventure for my dad’s bday (happy 59th, big guy!) at a local French eatery which I have been to multiple times before but have never written about its delectable Gallic delights.  The restaurant in question is  called Mon Ami Gabi and is located at 260 Oakbrook Center
Oak Brook, IL 60523 in the mall.

Now I have been to France before, and obviously it is kind of hard to recreate that sort of European ambiance in the Midwest.  However, Mon Ami Gabi manages to do a pretty good job at bringing its patrons a different type of eating experience with its rich, dark wood laden interiors, soft lighting, and an intimate patio which would be the perfect setting for any date night.   These elegant surroundings are just one plus of Mon Ami Gabi, and the food is no different.

Simple happiness: bread and butter

For our dinner, we received a complementary mini-baguette with a side of creamy butter and relish.  I don’t know if they make their own bread at the establishment, but it still was very tasty.  The crunchy crust was lightly coated with flour, and the white inside was still slightly warm and pliant which made the butter seep into every square inch of the baguette. As for the relish, as soon as I took a bite I knew that it was made of julienned  green apples due to its tartness and the general appearance of the side, but there was a slight herbal aftertaste to it that I couldn’t put my finger on.  Thankfully our helpful waitress informed me it was fennel of all things. After finally deciding on an appetizer, we went with the baked goat cheese and tomato sauce.  When it came to our table, I wasn’t too happy with the presentation of it because we have ordered it before, and it was served with mini pieces of toast coated in a garlic/pesto mixture.  This time around, the bread element of the dish came as a whole baguette sliced lengthwise which led us to resorting to ripping the bread apart like a bunch of Cro-Magnons.  I don’t know why they changed it from small pieces of bread, but I feel that it is a choice of convenience by the chefs.  Nevertheless, the actual goat cheese was delectable with its creamy texture melding with the smooth tomato sauce to create a warm mousse that provided a somber yin to the more aggressive yang of the garlic/pesto coated bread.

From this tasty beginning, I moved on to the main star of the dinner:  the steak.  I plumped for the steak au poirve  (or pepper steak) with the hand cut house frites.  The meat was grilled exactly to my request with a solid brown hue throughout and a slight pink inside.  The peppercorns were quite potent and supplied the thin gravy with a much needed kick to highlight the high quality texture and rich meaty flavor of the steak.

I’m a meat and potatoes kind of guy

As for the frites, I didn’t eat all of them since I was saving room for dessert, but from the few that I actually did try, they were not like regular french fries at any restaurant.  They looked like shoestring potatoes on steroids with a bit of a curl from Arby’s curly fries, and the actual body had the consistency of a normal French fry.  They were not over or under fried, and the insides were white and fluffy.

The end of this three ring circus culminated with the highly decadent vanilla bread pudding.  Not only was it infused with minced vanilla beans which dotted its borders like black spots on an ermine cape, but also like Louis XIV it was adorned with an over-sized crown of vanilla ice-cream and chains of golden caramel.

*Drool*. That is all

Its flavors lived up to its regal appearance as the pudding was slightly firm and warm which formed a divine pairing with the slightly melted vanilla ice cream and caramel.  Even though I ate all of this food and finished off the meal with a flourish, I was not stuffed which also speaks to the French culinary tradition of quality over quantity.

So if you’re looking for a new place to try French food, put aside your fears of frog legs and snooty waiters and try Mon Ami Gabi.  You won’t regret it!

Mon Ami Gabi on Urbanspoon

Mon Ami Gabi on Foodio54

This Mary’s No Virgin

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Hello to all far and wide to another edition of Mastication Monologues.  Today I am going to tell you all about an interesting hamburger place I went to in Andersonville that has a lot of a personality.  It’s called Hamburger Mary’s, and it’s located at 5400 North Clark Street  Chicago, IL 60640.  It’s a pretty modern part of town, and there is plenty of street parking which means that this eatery is quite easy to reach.

It all seems so quaint and Swedish

Now I already mentioned that this place has a lot of personality, but what exactly could that mean?  Well,  what I’m referring to is the fact that this place has a constant subtle nudge at sex at every turn.  First, my then girlfriend at the time mentioned that they had cabaret and drag queen shows there every so often, so I was a bit wary about what I was getting myself into.  However, when I arrived, it didn’t seem too offbeat from the outside.  On the inside, it’s very kitschy in its choice of decor that ranges from their abnormally busty statue of their mascot, Mary, 1950s Americana items, and even the occasional rainbow flag to represent the large LGBT community on the north side of Chicago.  Plus, there are various sexual puns throughout the actual menu like loaded ta-tas (tater tots with cheese), Chik’n Wangs (chicken wings in a southern accent), and the guacamole BJ (Bacon and Jack cheeseburger).  Sexuality aside, I’m here to judge the food.

I went to this establishment two different times and got two different types of burgers.  In general, I was impressed with how many different options you could have in terms of bun (gluten-free, brioche, wheat, or lettuce cups), meat (anything from blackbean patties to Wagyu beef), and sides.  The first time I went there, I got the lamb gyro burger with a side of the tasty seasoned ta-tas.  It was going to be interesting to see how they were going to transform one of my favorite Greek/drunk foods of all time into burger form, and I was pleasantly surprised.  It was served as a lamb patty with onions, tomatoes, pita chips, and a typical Tzatziki sauce.  The lamb was cooked just the way I liked it, and the vegetables were very fresh.  As for the pita chips, they added a much welcomed texture change with their crunch enhanced by the (cool as a) cucumber sauce.  With the seasoned ta-tas, they were basically tater tots that were seasoned with Hamburger Mary’s special blend of spices.  Personally, these tater tots were pretty good but nothing mind-blowing.  Overall, I’d give round one to the Gyro Burger since it’s Zeus sized flavor made the side look like a mere mortal.

The second time around, I decided to go with the Fiesta Burger which consisted of a beef patty stuffed with chorizo and spices, topped with pepper jack cheese, pico de gallo, chipotle ranch, and tortilla strips.  I’d normally be happy with the stuffed beef patty alone, but this sandwich was a fiesta sin igual.  The spices brought out the hotter bits of the cheese which normally didn’t happen with other similar Southwest burgers at other restaurants.  These spicier tones and the flaming hot patty were then cooled by the homemade pico de gallo that was quite flavorful and chipotle filled.  This is where I think the chipotle ranch wasn’t really that necessary.  If one has chipotle already in their pico de gallo, then I think it’s kind of a waste to use it on the same burger.  Given this opinion, I believe that the chipotle ranch did not make any sort of impact on my palate.  The tortilla strips were in the same league as the pita chips on the gyro burger since they offset all of the chewier portions of the burger with a much-needed firmness like a strong shot of tequila reposado.  As for my side, I got the bacon-potato salad which I was a bit wary about, but I think my love for all things bacon must have subconsciously influenced me when I was ordering.  I should have listened to my head instead of my pork loving heart because I can only eat potato salad in small portions before it loses its appeal.   However, I was pleasantly surprised since this side was one of the better potato salads I’ve had because it was creamy, had generous pieces of bacon lurking under its white mounds, and the potatoes were slightly firm but at the same time quite tender.  Unfortunately, I think my eyes were bigger than my stomach because I was stuffed after finishing this side and the burger all in one sitting.  Oh bacon, you greasy temptress!   At the end of the meal, they gave us the check in a high heel which was an interesting touch, but just made me think that only in this place would this seem normal.

Overall, Hamburger Mary’s is a good burger place to go for a good time, but the only downside is that I think it’s slightly overpriced for the food.  I think it’s just a way to counter the cost of offering so many different products for different types of eaters.  Nevertheless, spend an afternoon with Mary and see that this girl next door is more than just a pretty face.

I guess Mary thinks everything bigger is better

Hamburger Mary's on Urbanspoon

Hamburger Mary's on Foodio54

I Got Tanked in Uptown

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Welcome to another chapter in the food saga that is Mastication Monologues!  Today I will be talking about a restaurant that is a bit off the beaten path but is well-known to those who enjoy a traditional Vietnamese treat.  The establishment in question is called Pho Xe Tang or its English name “Tank Noodles” in Uptown right off the Argyle El stop at 4953 N Broadway Chicago, IL 60640.  This place is an institution within the area known as little Saigon, and I can definitely see why after trying their signature dish: Phở.

H.Q. for amazing Vietnamese food

Now some people who are reading this blog right now are scratching their heads trying to make heads or tails of the word I just wrote above, and no, I did not create a new letter in the English alphabet.  For my own typing sanity, I’ll write it in English, Pho, instead of its Vietnamese counterpart above.  Plus, I would like to note that this dish is pronounced “Fuh” not “Foh” with a long “o”.  I made the same mistake when I first saw it, but I was quickly corrected by my friend who had visited Tank Noodle before.  Pronunciation aside, what exactly is Pho?

Pho is a broth dish that could be considered a veritable melting pot of indigenous Vietnamese, French, and Chinese influences to create one great meal.  The soup begins with a simple beef or chicken broth that contains various types of meat depending on your preferences.  Then there are garnishes that the diner can add to the soup as they go along such as cilantro, onion, lime, bean sprouts, Sriracha sauce, Asian basil, and bean sprouts.  Many chefs recommend adding the ingredients gradually to the soup to enhance the flavor profile, but I personally think that it really doesn’t make much of a difference since the ingredients are all so fresh and tasty to begin with.

When I went to Tank Noodle, I got the beef Pho (phở bò) with tripe added to the mixture just to be adventurous.  If you aren’t a fan of tripe, you can be even crazier at Tank Noodle and try their Pho with tendons, ox tail, or even bull penis (yes, you read that right).  The actual broth was a light tan color but still possessed a deeply beefy soul that did not drown out the cilantro, bean sprouts, and basil that I put in the mixture.

It’s like a beefy pool party and everyone’s invited!

I also added a healthy dosage of Sriracha sauce since I love my food to be extra spicy.  The the beef slices in the soup were cut almost razor-thin which led them to almost dissolve on my tongue like a package of deliciously beefy Listerine breath strips.  As for the tripe, it was tougher than the beef, naturally, but soaked up the Sriracha like some sort of meaty sponge which made it more palatable.  The rice based noodles were firm and resilient which showed their high quality and were in harmony with the other competing flavors in this Southeast Asian symphony.  By the end of the bowl, I was completely stuffed with beef, broth, and a spicy feeling in my mouth that reminded me of what a delicious meal I just consumed.

Even though I thought my meal was completely over, I had to indulge in one of my favorite Asian drinks:  boba tea.  If you’ve never had this drink, it can either be like a tea based fruit flavored slushie or more like a milk-tea hybrid.  Its signature flourish is the option to drink it with or without “bubbles” or “pearls”.  These two different names for the same thing are referring to the small balls of tapioca that reside on the bottom of the cup like little gummi nuggets of gold waiting to be discovered.  I personally love the little buggers, but other people aren’t fans due to their chewy/rubbery texture.  To each, his/her own, I guess.  Anyway,  I went with one of my favorite flavor mixtures which is mango and strawberry with bubbles.   The tea was not too syrupy, and they gave me a generous helping of the tapioca pearls which elated me greatly.  Once I finished this drink, I knew that I experienced a great meal even though it felt like the Tet Offensive was being reenacted in my stomach as I was too full and the spicy Sriracha was clashing with the sweetness of the tea.

A chalice of deliciousness

So if you’re looking for a new type of cuisine that goes beyond the typical American Chinese orange chicken or the usual Japanese sushi rolls, try going a bit further south into Indochina to sample a tasty traditional treat from Vietnam at Tank Noodle!

Tank Noodle (Pho Xe Tang ) on Urbanspoon

Three’s Happiness Too

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Hello to everyone out there in the blogosphere!  It has been a long time since I last posted on Mastication Monologues, but I have finally emerged from the madness is grad school (actually I’m only in the eye of the storm right now) to bring you a new post about a type of cuisine I have never truly experienced:  Dim Sum.

Mmm So delicious and MSG laden

When many people proclaim that they enjoy “Chinese food” and then proceed to rattle off such favorites as General Tso’s chicken, orange chicken, or sweet and sour chicken, this culinary adventure I embarked on was the furthest from these Panda Express concoctions.  Instead, my good friend David finally fulfilled a promise he made to me a long time ago that he would take me out to an authentic dim sum dinner, and yesterday we finally made it happen.

We ended up making our way down to Chinatown to Three Happiness Restaurant located at 2130 South Wentworth Avenue, Chicago, IL.  There is parking available nearby, and the establishment will validate your parking which eliminates a gigantic headache for anyone who has tried to find parking around the city.  It was an interesting/surprising coincidence that we were actually going to this specific Three Happiness because I had visited it on numerous occasions when I was just a young little spring roll and yet never had Dim Sum but rather the Pu-Pu platter (oh immature humor).

Poop jokes aside, we were promptly seated in the spacious and very clean dining room.  The wait staff was very helpful initially with providing us with drinks.  I say initially due to a minor incident later on in the meal that somewhat soured the experience, but spectacular food can always make up for service problems.  Now, the only previous experience I had with Dim Sum was in the basement of a YMCA during college with the Chinese Student Association, so I only knew of two or three types of plates you could order at Dim Sum.  However, my friend David explained Dim Sum perfectly by saying that there are many options to sample yet they’re portions that are just enough to share with friends kind of like tapas in Spain.  It was the perfect culinary storm as my love for sampling random foods combined with my affinity for tapas to create a wave of mass consumption that laid waste to all dumplings, cakes, and small watercraft on the table (OK, maybe not that last one).

The first round of Dim Sum consisted of turnip cakes, taro root puffs, sesame buns, and shrimp wraps.

Our waitress also provided us with a small bowl of chili sauce that looked very dangerous which made me happy.  I say happy because I love spicy food with a burning passion.  Unfortunately, often times I am disappointed by dishes in more mainstream restaurants that claim to be spicy but in reality are merely smouldering coals instead of raging infernos (i.e. any “spicy Southwest burger/spicy Asian stir fry/blazing chicken wings”).  However, realizing that I was in an authentic Chinese restaurant, I knew that they would be bringing the heat especially if I wanted to go Sichuan or get my favorite spicy mustard that makes me feel like I have Rocky Balboa inside my sinuses taking a left hook to the back of my nose.  As much as I would like to glorify the wonders of insanely spicy foods, I’m here to write about the Dim Sum.  I had already tried turnip cakes before, and the ones here were alright.  They were baked with a thin flaky crust and did not have much flavor aside from some potato-esque hints in the aftertaste.

The suspects in question going clockwise (turnip cakes, taro root puffs, shrimp wraps, and sesame buns)

The chili sauce definitely kicked them up a notch, Emeril-style BAM!.  The taro root puffs interested me as soon as I saw them on the menu, and I was not disappointed.  They looked like empanadas sporting very stiff Jheri curls, and biting into one felt like munching on a pine-cone but without the sap/pain and instead a delicious deep-fried flavor.  The inside surprised me the most where there was a meat and black bean concoction that was piping hot and quite savory with a flavor that could be most likened to a traditional meatloaf sans ketchup.  The shrimp wraps were brought to our table and had a dark brown fish sauce poured over them to provide more flavor, and it nicely complimented the cooked shrimp sleeping underneath their tender rice dough sheets.  I saved the best for last:  the sesame buns.  For some reason, a lot of great food comes in orb form like handmade doughnut holes or even pão de queijo(cheese bread) in Brazilian cuisine, and these sesame buns are no different.  They are roughly the size of a golf ball, coated in sesame seeds, and are firm with a semi-sticky texture when you bite into them.  The inside also contains a dab of red bean paste, but before you ready your barf bags, fickle eaters, I have to let you know that the paste actually carries a semi-sweet, almost vanilla wafer quality to it.  Satisfied with my first round of Dim Sum, we had a second helping.

Fried Calamari

The second round of Dim Sum delights entailed fried calamari, shrimp toast, beef and pork dumplings, and chicken feet.  My friend David order the fried calamari with sea salt which made me a bit wary since calamari seems to be more of a hit or miss dish from my experiences.  However, I was pleasantly surprised as the squid was tender and the batter was light and was adequately assisted by the sea salt to bring the squid back to its briny roots.  I did not know what to expect with the shrimp toast which led me to be pleasantly surprised when it confirmed some of my suspicions with a twist.  The shrimp was served whole on top of a slice of bread (like I assumed), but then the whole piece was completely fried which naturally made everything taste fantastic.  The beef and pork dumplings were nothing too special with the latter being encased in a thin casing of rice dough and the former looked like meatballs nestled in small pieces of cabbage that actually were chartreuse pieces of dough.  The presentation was very nice, and both of the meats were adequately seasoned and in harmony with the starch.  Once again, the last Dim Sum choice was the most interesting:  the chicken feet.

A quartet of delights going clockwise (beef dumplings, chicken feet, pork dumplings, shrimp toast)

Throughout my food expeditions both in the States and abroad, I have eaten various parts of animals, but I had never tried chicken feet.  David informed me that in Chinese, they are literally referred to as “Phoenix talons” (talk about a good marketing scheme through linguistics!), and thankfully they lived up to their fancy name.  They were baked in a soy based sauce that had some sweet elements to give the meat a slight barbecue flavor with prominent black pepper overtones.  The actual meat was juicy, falling off the metatarsal, finger-lickin’ good.  However, contrary to American customs of deboning any type of meat fit for human consumption (pink slime aside), the Chinese and many other cultures leave all of the bones in their meats to contain the various flavors obtained through the marrow and minerals.  Ergo, beware of the tiny bones lurking in the feet!

Jello Jigglers eat your heart out

The final movement to our Dim Sum symphony ended with mango pudding which was less like Jello and more like a tropical fruit version of flan without the pool of caramel.  Unfortunately, there was a mix-up with our order since we wanted BBQ pork buns for the end of the meal, and they said they were on the way.  However, we had to wait at least twenty minutes before they realized that they had made a mistake which kind of put a damper on the experience.  Nevertheless, they eventually brought out the BBQ pork buns, and they were well worth the wait.  The dough was thick and pliable, and the pork was neatly cubed and lodged within the dumpling surrounded by a sweet bbq sauce that most likely had a molasses base.

Definitely pigged out on these pork buns

In the end, I was greatly satisfied with my Dim Sum experience at Three Happiness.  If you are tired of the same old egg roll and fried rice dinner at your local Chinese restaurant, go outside your comfort zone and try some Dim Sum if you have the opportunity to do so.  My fortune at the end of the meal definitely came true, and I hope you find your own new adventures and foodie pleasures!

It came to fruition!

Three Happiness on Urbanspoon

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