Category Archives: American Cuisine

Every Dog Will Have Its Day

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Hello to everyone out there in the blogosphere!  Welcome to another edition of Mastication Monologues.  Today I will be telling you about a small establishment called Huey’s Hotdogs located at 1507 W Balmoral Ave (between Clark St & Ashland Ave) Chicago, IL 60640  in the Edgewater/Andersonville neighborhood.  NOTE:  Even though some websites say that they only take cash, they DO take credit cards now.

This food adventure was born out of my fellow classmate’s desire to try a classic Chicago hotdog, but there was a certain caveat that drove us to this specific place:  she’s a vegetarian.  Ergo, we decided to give Huey’s a try due to its large selection of vegan friendly dishes like hot dogs, burgers, chili, and salads.  I, however, was looking for something beyond the typical Chicago hotdog, brat, Italian beef, or cheeseburger.  Instead, I was drawn to a strange option under the Sausages header on the chalkboard menu:  Turducken.  No, it is not some sort of mystical animal that comes from the dense jungles of Grant Park, but rather a Frankenstein-esque creation of Thanksgiving proportions.  What it consists of is taking a chicken stuffed with spice rub, stuff it into a duck with more stuffing, and then put it all into a turkey with, you guessed it, more stuffing.  All of the birds are de-boned, and in the end you enjoy a three-layered meat monstrosity.  Given all of this information, you can now see why I was curious to see how they could synthesize this hybrid meat into sausage form.

All dressed up and definitely has a place to go: my stomach.

When they brought it out to me, I was somewhat underwhelmed by what I was faced with in my plastic basket.  It was served on a typical white bread, poppy-seed covered bun, and the tawny white sausage itself seemed to be grilled along with being cut in half/scored on top.  The actual taste of the meat was very rich with some fatty undertones from the duck and backed up with the heartiness of the turkey, but was somewhat difficult to taste due to the cranberry and horseradish sauce that came on it.  As strange it may seem, this thick scarlet comforter did not taste as terrible as one would may think.  Unfortunately, I thought that it sullied the sausage because the cranberry element completely smothered any horseradish flavors and also almost comprehensively drowned out the Turducken.  However, I was pretty impressed that the bun was not soggy with how much of this cranberry jam they put on the top of it, but it was thick enough to stay on the sausage for a surprisingly clean dinner.  As for the fries that came with the sausage, I was pleasantly surprised at how delicious they were.  They were a medium to dark golden brown and on the softer side with a fluffy white inside, but they had a rich aftertaste that made it seem like they were fried in a different sort of oil.  I actually enjoyed them more than the sausage which was somewhat sad.

As a whole, Huey’s really is like any other basic Chicago hot dog stand aside from their vegan menu.  So unless you’re a vegetarian, you can get basically the same food elsewhere like at Gold Coast Dogs or Wiener Circle without having to go so far north.

Huey's Hot Dogs & More on Urbanspoon

Everytime a Cowbell Rings a Devil Gets His Wings

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WARNING:  If you think jalapenos are spicy or if this (see 0:40 and on)happens to you when eating dry chili flakes or do not have a stomach for spicy food in general, do not try this eating challenge!!

Hello to everyone out there in the blogosphere!  I am writing this post after a very eventful and historic day in my eating adventures.  Now for those who know me/read my (amazing) blog, they can tell you that I am not one to shy away from eating spicy foods.  In fact, I seem to revel in the challenge to see how much fire I can eat in one sitting.  One day a certain Man vs. Food host in conjunction with the Travel Channel highlighted a Chicago hot-spot for getting some of the fieriest chicken wings in the nation which I will be reviewing today.  The place in question is Jake Melnick’s located on 41 East Superior Street  Chicago, IL 60611.

I checked out their website to see what exactly these XXX wings were made of, and I found out that they used both the Ghost Chili and the Red Divina which is an extremely spicy strain of Habanero.  Now, the actual heat level of the peppers can vary depending on where they’re grown due to various factors such as rainfall, elevation, and sun exposure.  However, I did the Scoville unit math according to Wikipedia’s page, and their combined spiciness is equivalent to standard issue law enforcement pepper spray.  Somehow this didn’t stop me, so I went there to test my mettle.

The waitress was wary at my request of the XXX wings, and they even make you sign a legal waver containing fun phrases like, “you’re an adventurous spirit who eats chilis for fun” alongside the more litigious “you won’t sue us in case of bodily harm”.  However, since I ordered the wings, I got a free fireman hat that stated I tried the XXX wing challenge along with a cowbell that I could ring if the heat became unbearable.

My bell and my brew (IPA, fyi)

This action would lead to the staff bringing out a “cool off” tray which consisted of a glass of milk, a cup of sour cream, and some white bread.  Little did they know I had the eye of the tiger to finish off the wings.

Hell in a hand basket

When they were presented to me, I was intrigued by how they looked since they weren’t glowing or smouldering or looking like pure evil.  However, I did notice a particular pungent aroma when I moved my face closer to them lying upon each other like eight little red smouldering coals nestled in a little hibachi.  I also got a side of blue cheese just in case I couldn’t handle the heat, and the celery was complimentary.  So I started off with the first wing, and I was expecting to get punched in the face with a fireball of spice.  Surprisingly, I was greeted instead with a savory and slightly garlicky heatwave that just spread the proverbial gasoline on the inside of my mouth.

The first wing goes down for the count

The next four to six wings decided to have a firework party while playing in the aforementioned gasoline a la Zoolander.  At this point, the back of my throat was quite scratchy and almost numb.  My lips and the surrounding area on my face just felt like it was touched up by a flamethrower, and I had a good sweat going on the whole time.  Plus, I kept in mind a key element to eating any sort of spicy food with your hands:  don’t rub your eyes even if you have an itch anywhere around them. I did try a wing or two in the superbly made blue cheese sauce that had whole blue cheese crumbles in it which was so much better than the blue cheese sauces I’ve sampled at Hooters and Buffalo Wild Wings.  While all of this was going on, my waitress kept coming by expecting the cowbell to be ringing out for mercy, but I just kept on truckin’ (like I’d ever stop truckin’ in the first place).  By the last wing, I downed it with gusto as my nose began to run slightly.  Perspiration aside, I knew that I had done something impressive especially judging by the shocked reaction from our waitress.  So I ended up getting my picture up on the digital Wall of Flame and the knowledge knowing that I had survived one hell of a challenge.  Unfortunately, they did not let me celebrate in true Will Ferrell fashion with adding more cowbell to the victory.

So for all of those thrill seekers/chili-heads out there, definitely try the XXX wing challenge at Jake Melnicks.  If spicy food isn’t for you, they also have a great variety of  delicious burgers (including an eight pound burger challenge), barbecue dishes with in-house smoked meats, hearty soups, savory sandwiches, and satisfying salads you can chow down on.

All done and it feels like I’ve smeared lava on my face

Jake Melnick's Corner Tap on Urbanspoon

Jake Melnick's Corner Tap on Foodio54

This Mary’s No Virgin

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Hello to all far and wide to another edition of Mastication Monologues.  Today I am going to tell you all about an interesting hamburger place I went to in Andersonville that has a lot of a personality.  It’s called Hamburger Mary’s, and it’s located at 5400 North Clark Street  Chicago, IL 60640.  It’s a pretty modern part of town, and there is plenty of street parking which means that this eatery is quite easy to reach.

It all seems so quaint and Swedish

Now I already mentioned that this place has a lot of personality, but what exactly could that mean?  Well,  what I’m referring to is the fact that this place has a constant subtle nudge at sex at every turn.  First, my then girlfriend at the time mentioned that they had cabaret and drag queen shows there every so often, so I was a bit wary about what I was getting myself into.  However, when I arrived, it didn’t seem too offbeat from the outside.  On the inside, it’s very kitschy in its choice of decor that ranges from their abnormally busty statue of their mascot, Mary, 1950s Americana items, and even the occasional rainbow flag to represent the large LGBT community on the north side of Chicago.  Plus, there are various sexual puns throughout the actual menu like loaded ta-tas (tater tots with cheese), Chik’n Wangs (chicken wings in a southern accent), and the guacamole BJ (Bacon and Jack cheeseburger).  Sexuality aside, I’m here to judge the food.

I went to this establishment two different times and got two different types of burgers.  In general, I was impressed with how many different options you could have in terms of bun (gluten-free, brioche, wheat, or lettuce cups), meat (anything from blackbean patties to Wagyu beef), and sides.  The first time I went there, I got the lamb gyro burger with a side of the tasty seasoned ta-tas.  It was going to be interesting to see how they were going to transform one of my favorite Greek/drunk foods of all time into burger form, and I was pleasantly surprised.  It was served as a lamb patty with onions, tomatoes, pita chips, and a typical Tzatziki sauce.  The lamb was cooked just the way I liked it, and the vegetables were very fresh.  As for the pita chips, they added a much welcomed texture change with their crunch enhanced by the (cool as a) cucumber sauce.  With the seasoned ta-tas, they were basically tater tots that were seasoned with Hamburger Mary’s special blend of spices.  Personally, these tater tots were pretty good but nothing mind-blowing.  Overall, I’d give round one to the Gyro Burger since it’s Zeus sized flavor made the side look like a mere mortal.

The second time around, I decided to go with the Fiesta Burger which consisted of a beef patty stuffed with chorizo and spices, topped with pepper jack cheese, pico de gallo, chipotle ranch, and tortilla strips.  I’d normally be happy with the stuffed beef patty alone, but this sandwich was a fiesta sin igual.  The spices brought out the hotter bits of the cheese which normally didn’t happen with other similar Southwest burgers at other restaurants.  These spicier tones and the flaming hot patty were then cooled by the homemade pico de gallo that was quite flavorful and chipotle filled.  This is where I think the chipotle ranch wasn’t really that necessary.  If one has chipotle already in their pico de gallo, then I think it’s kind of a waste to use it on the same burger.  Given this opinion, I believe that the chipotle ranch did not make any sort of impact on my palate.  The tortilla strips were in the same league as the pita chips on the gyro burger since they offset all of the chewier portions of the burger with a much-needed firmness like a strong shot of tequila reposado.  As for my side, I got the bacon-potato salad which I was a bit wary about, but I think my love for all things bacon must have subconsciously influenced me when I was ordering.  I should have listened to my head instead of my pork loving heart because I can only eat potato salad in small portions before it loses its appeal.   However, I was pleasantly surprised since this side was one of the better potato salads I’ve had because it was creamy, had generous pieces of bacon lurking under its white mounds, and the potatoes were slightly firm but at the same time quite tender.  Unfortunately, I think my eyes were bigger than my stomach because I was stuffed after finishing this side and the burger all in one sitting.  Oh bacon, you greasy temptress!   At the end of the meal, they gave us the check in a high heel which was an interesting touch, but just made me think that only in this place would this seem normal.

Overall, Hamburger Mary’s is a good burger place to go for a good time, but the only downside is that I think it’s slightly overpriced for the food.  I think it’s just a way to counter the cost of offering so many different products for different types of eaters.  Nevertheless, spend an afternoon with Mary and see that this girl next door is more than just a pretty face.

I guess Mary thinks everything bigger is better

Hamburger Mary's on Urbanspoon

Hamburger Mary's on Foodio54

If You Like It, Then You Should Put an Onion Ring on It

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Hello everyone to another edition of Mastication Monologues.  Today I’m going to be going way back in time to an era that seems like ancient history.  The year was 2001, and unfortunately there was no space odyssey involved.  I had just suffered a life threatening injury to my neck, but the family and I still ended up going on vacation to Memphis, Tennessee since I wasn’t going to have surgery for another month.  So we took in the typical tourist sites like Graceland and Beale Street before the beautification movement that transformed this once dilapidated thoroughfare into a squeaky clean tourist hub.  After an entire day of seeing sparkling jumpsuits and Elvis’ personal plane emblazoned with his signature motto TCB, we started looking for a place to eat.  Little did I know that I would be Taking Care of Business at dinner that night.

An unassuming place for mutant onion rings

We ended up going to Huey’s located at  77 South 2nd Street, Memphis, TN which is the downtown location.  Upon entering, it seemed like any type of regular hometown bar with a little helping of some southern charm.  However, upon closer inspection, we noticed some unique touches to the interior of the establishment.  First, the booth, walls, and table surrounding us were covered in different types of graffiti from travelers who had made the trip before us.  So, naturally we all left our mark with the markers that they provided us.  I then saw some other diners taking their straws and aiming them upwards towards the ceiling.  Given my injured status, I awkwardly moved my body to see that the ceiling tiles were filled like pincushions with thousands of tiny toothpicks.  We also followed suit (even though my mom accidentally shot someone at the table next to us with a toothpick), and it was a fun way to pass the time before our food arrived at our table .

Seat yourself and don’t mind the toothpicks

I ended up ordering the classic World Famous Huey Burger with a side of their onion rings.  The burger was not the be all, end all in burgerdom, but it had all of the right qualities of being in the upper echelon of sandwiches I have tried over the years.  They cooked it to perfection without charring it too much while also keeping the patty nice and juicy.  The condiments were very balanced, and the vegetables were crisp and fresh.  You also have the choice of Swiss or cheddar cheese, but I went with the cheddar and didn’t regret it.  Even though it may seem like this was a real cheeseburger in paradise (ugh, a Jimmy Buffet reference..I feel so dirty), the only downside was the bun consistency.  It needed to be a bit thicker and more durable to accommodate all of the toppings along with the meat instead of slowly deteriorating as the meal wore on.  As for my side of onion rings, that was the real show stopper.  I couldn’t believe how big these mofos were.  There seriously must have been some sort of radiation leak by the deep fryer when they made them.  However, contrary to the rumors and/or what Cosmo wants us to believe, size isn’t everything.  Even though these onion rings were insanely oversized, they were not very greasy which is a common shortcoming for onion rings.  Plus, the breading was handmade and had a rich, semi-buttery taste that enhanced the flavor profile of the onions which were red instead of the typical white.

That’s a hunka hunka delicious burger

In the end, I was greatly stuffed and quite satisfied with some good ol’ fashioned southern cookin’.  Huey’s was a great place to enjoy some good food with good company, and it’s one place that doesn’t try to cash in on Elvis’ fame.  For more info check out their website: http://hueyburger.com/

Huey's on Urbanspoon

Huey's - Downtown on Foodio54

The Quay to a Man’s Heart Is Through His Stomach

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Hello everyone once again in the blogosphere to another addition to Mastication Monologues.  Unfortunately, it has been hotter than the inside of a Pepperoni Hot Pocket as of late in the Chicagoland area.  So while lurking about in my air-conditioned cocoon known as my house, I decided I might as well write about a delightful restaurant I visited a few weeks ago.  A friend, Maria Jose, was in town from New York, and she decided she wanted to try out this new place called Quay (pronounced “key” not “kway”; confusing, I know).  It is located at 465 East Illinois Street  Chicago, IL 60611 in the River East building.  Unbeknownst to me, I would be pleasantly surprised by her suggestion.

First, I was surprised at the location because I remember during my childhood the River East building being a hollow shell of an edifice mainly housing empty storefronts with the occasional video game arcade or art gallery, but it functioned mainly as a mooring hub for boats making their way out to the lake/Navy Pier.  Therefore, when I showed up to a buzzing and elegant restaurant with al fresco dining, I was gobsmacked.  There is valet parking for 12 dollars and is valid all night (I opted for this option), or you can park in the parking garage across the street.  As we entered, the decor of the restaurant was very sleek and modern with softer lighting in the bar area, and the staff were very friendly.

The main dining room.

We first split a bottle of Tangley Oaks, a Merlot from Napa which was a soft, full-bodied wine that was not too overwhelming (mind you, I am not a sommelier by any stretch of the imagination, but it was a pleasant compliment to my meal).  The menu boasted a variety of American options (steak, burgers), French cuisine (Tarte Flambe, Lamb au Poirve), and Italian cooking (Suckling Pig Porchetta, Insalata Caprese).  For dinner, I decided to order the Spring Risotto which contained fava beans, english peas, braised radish, spring onions pecorino pepato, and truffled nettle puree.  Unfortunately, I was unable to take a picture of this tiny masterpiece, but it was elegantly presented on a simple white plate along with a drizzling of olive oil and a very dark vinaigrette to provide a bit of slightly bitter bite to the risotto.  The actual rice dish was very nicely balanced as the rice was not too soggy which sometimes can happen to cream-based rice dishes.  Another part of the dish that I enjoyed was the fact that all of the ingredients weren’t simply assimilated into the flavor background.  The english peas were served whole and not mashed contrary to their English heritage.  I am a huge fan of onions, and the spring onions strangely gave the risotto a slightly sweet aftertaste now and then which made me excited to explore more of the nooks and crannies in this mini-mound of goodness.  The pecorino pepato (peppered Italian cheese for those of you who don’t parla italiano) was lightly grated in thin, snow-white slices and perched gently atop Montecello Risotto.   This cheese lived up to its peppery name, but it was not very spicy for those worried about mouth scorching foods.  Plus, the heat of the risotto melted the cheese slightly which made it easier to mix into the rice and integrate it with the other flavors on my palate.

Whilst I was greatly enjoying myself, my friend Maria Jose had a slightly different dining experience.  She ordered the Oven Roasted Sea Bass with a side of grilled asparagus as a substitution for the baby spinach at no extra charge.  Upon tucking into the verdant and evenly grilled and seasoned spears, she found a small amount of hair.  She brought this up to our waiter who was visibly disturbed at this discovery, but he was a gentleman about it and the manager apologized/covered Maria Jose’s meal.  Our waiter even went above and beyond general hospitality and allowed us access to the lounge/bar in the back section of the restaurant even though there was a private function.  It has a lovely view of the Chicago River along with very tasteful furniture and a classy bar area.

The spacious lounge at the back of the restaurant

Upon returning to our table, we finished our main courses and split one of their special desserts for the night:  ice cream sandwiches made with homemade dark chocolate cookies and banana gelato on the inside along with a side of raspberry compote.  These small sandwiches lived up to the Latin phrase “Multum in Parvo” (A lot of stuff in a little package).  They were probably only as big as silver dollars, but the chocolate from the cookies meshed perfectly with the banana gelato to create a classier version of eating frozen chocolate bananas on a stick.  The raspberries also served as a subtle contrast to these two sweet elements with a  slightly sour contribution to the dessert course.

On the whole, I would recommend Quay to anyone who is looking to try out a new restaurant/bar/lounge in the Streeterville area for  a lunch or dinner before Navy Pier, a pre-movie meal, or just looking for a new place to expand your gastronomic horizons.  Even if your visit may seem like it is teetering on the verge of becoming un Inferno like ours was, the helpful staff and delicious food can definitely leave you feeling like you’re in Paradiso.

but leave molto felice. Eyyyy!

You may come in as happy as Dante…

Quay on Urbanspoon

High Steaks Dining (Somehow I Survived)

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A quick turnaround for my dear old blog, but here is another entry in the Mastication Monologues saga.  Today was no ordinary day since I actually didn’t feel like reverting back to my old tried and true haunts and ethnic cuisines.  Perhaps it was the sudden change in the weather which can only be likened to a drop from a blazing furnace to a sudden chill like a cold soda can to the back of your neck, or maybe I just wanted some STEAK being the natural carnivore that I am.  Luckily, I didn’t have to look any further than Al’s Charhouse located at 32 S. LaGrange Rd.  La Grange, IL 60525. which is right in the heart of bustling downtown LaGrange.

Upon arriving, I realized that I had been in this building many times before, but I had only visited Al’s latino counterpart on the upper level, Casa Margarita (another delicious Mexican eatery, fyi).  This time would be quite different as we descended the very large staircase to the entrance (I’m not quite sure how this would work out for those who are handicapped).  Immediately I knew they were going to play up their ties to the Wild West with plenty of cowboy and rancher paraphernalia adorning the walls.  The staff was quite cheerful, and we were waited upon right away.

People are really helpful around here

Yes, that is a rifle for a door handle.

Plus, there didn’t seem to be a strict dress code which was a nice change for a steak house.  As soon as we sat down, I realized this steakhouse was immediately different because the booths  actually had pillows for backrests which definitely made the dinner extra relaxing, and I later found out that their menus were called billboards because they literally covered up the width of the table when placed flat (cue an “everything’s bigger in Texas” joke haw haw)

We started off by ordering the spinach and artichoke dip that was accompanied by tortilla chips for dipping.  Due to my extreme hunger, I ended up finishing it all, but it was not anything special.  The cheese was quite bland, and the artichokes were a bit overdone.  On the plus side, the tortilla chips were very fresh, crisp, and not overly salty.  However, I just wasn’t wowed by it.  Luckily, the next course quickly changed my mind.

They soon brought out my mom’s French onion soup that I sampled along with my standard complimentary salad which comes with any sandwich or burger. The soup was a clear improvement on the aforementioned appetizer because it was adorned with a corona of ample, gooey cheese, a thoroughly soaked crust of bread lurked within the bowl, and a savory broth that melded these two different textures together into a semi-salty ambrosia.  Another noteworthy complimentary feature that stood out during this culinary interlude was the bread they provided:  a loaf of dark rye sans caraway seeds that were instead replaced by raisins and almonds.  It seemed like an odd concept at first, but the fact that they had cinnamon butter finally put the whole concept in perspective (almost like one of those 3-D pictures you can see once you step back and cross your eyes a bit).  Anyway, that loaf did not last long as the warm, expertly crafted bread was pulled apart faster than a pack of ravenous dogs attacking a giant Snausage.   Thus set the stage for the final act…the mega sandwich.

French Onion or Freedom Onion?

This Filet Bleu sandwich had four of my many favorite food elements for any meal:  steak (can never go wrong), garlic, cheese, and bread.  Unfortunately, all of the other previous food had filled me up to question whether or not I could finish off this monstrous plate of food.  Naturally, I said, “Damn, stomach integrity!”

and went straight into this mini-hubcap of a sandwich, au jus and all.  Best decision ever.  The bun, which is actually garlic bread on the inside, was very fresh and did not have either the overpowering buttery/garlicky taste or the crumb shower that normally accompanies typical garlic bread.  Instead, the garlic from the bun transitioned smoothly to the sultry blue cheese which whispered sweet nothings into my ear as I headed straight for the good stuff, the steak.

A platter for the Steak Gods

This very liberal helping of superbly grilled and seasoned steak medallions were succulent and tender enough to allow a clean bite all the way though.  The understated au jus also served as a culinary foil for the steak to shout its full flavor out to the world on the top of my taste-buds.  I also tried some of the fry wedges that came with the sandwich, and they were expertly made with a crunchy exterior that led to an oh-so creamy center.  Sadly, I could only make it half-way through the sandwich before I had to throw in the towel after this gastronomic decathlon, but I can’t help thinking that I was happy to have made the journey.

So if you’re looking for a lot of great, down home cuisine and want to feel like you’re in the middle of Texas while doing it, come down to Al’s Charhouse.  Believe me, Southern comfort and scrumptious cooking are not dead at this establishment.

Al's Char-house Steak House on Urbanspoon

Al's Char-House Banquets on Foodio54

Smash and Grab Burg(er)lary

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The Incredible Hulk has always been part of American culture (however geeky some might deem it) for many reasons.  Whether it was his oh so natural green hue or his very chic tatters that have that pre-worn appeal that many hobos and drifters could identify with, but his severe anger problems were probably what catapulted him to the front of the superhero pantheon.  With a Neanderthalic  grammatical utterance of, “HULK SMASH!” we could all identify with him when we just wanted to rip our clothes off and go crazy when the life is getting us down (maybe less of the former than the latter, actually).  What I’m trying to get is that, I definitely went crazy for Smashburger’s food sans the searing rage of my aforementioned friend.  This small and smart establishment has locations all over the United States, but the one I visited is located at 2425 W 75th St Darien, IL 60561.

A Pretty Hip Burger Joint

Even though their sign outside looked oddly like Gamestop’s, I walked into a nicely decorated restaurant that had a very casual vibe going for it.  The staff was very attentive and even offered to explain any questions we had with the menu or the company in general.  I ended up ordering the build your own burger with the Big Smash option which is a full 1/2 pounds of black Angus beef that is freshly prepared in the kitchen.

As for the ingredients, I definitely went all out as always with my options as I managed to create a souped up burger with the following ingredients:  a spicy chipotle bun, lettuce, tomato, red onion, grilled onion, kosher pickles (Shalom, y’all!), jalapeños, ketchup, mustard, spicy chipotle mayo, bbq sauce, buffalo sauce, and blue cheese.

A Veritable Laundry List of Toppings

All of which ended up looking like a monster of a burger that the Hulk would identify with, slightly odd-looking but a good one at heart.  Upon sinking my teeth into this beefy leviathan, I knew that I had made the right choice with going with the large burger and not the other options on the menu like the various salads, chicken sandwiches, or specialty burgers.

The beef was tender, juicy, cooked to perfection, but did not overpower the rest of the ingredients.  The spicy chipotle bun was something that I had never seen before, but it certainly made an impact on the overall flavor of the burger because with every enjoyable chomp, there were subtle smoky/spicy whisps of flavor caressing my tongue.

Cheesewise, the blue cheese was surprisingly measured out to support the other players in the sandwich; all of which surprised me because most restaurants slather their blue cheese on burgers like it’s going out of style (not always a bad idea), but one can have too much of a good thing sometimes.  The one other element of the burger that definitely made me stand up and give a rousing ovation was the jalapenos.  Now, I love those “Southwest/New Mexico/Insert general burger name invoking a capsaicin nightmare” burgers, but I’ve found that the jalapeños on these burgers are soggy and just mush into the general melange of ingredients.

This Looks Good Enough to be Mayor McCheese’s Wife

This was not the case with Smashburger.  The jalapeños on my burger were a lush, verdant green like Señor Hulk, looked to be freshly hand chopped, and provided a satisfying crunch and a spicy peck on the cheek with every bite.

Tackling the Beast

As always, my appetite had not been satiated, so I decided to get a side that I’ve never tried before.  The fried pickles were beckoning me, but I decided not to go the Snooki route this time (though you must try them if you ever have the chance).  Instead, I chose the Smashfries which were french fries  tossed with garlic, rosemary, and olive oil.  These golden, finely julienned potatoes had me at garlic.  They did not disappoint because they were not too overpowering with the garlic, and thankfully the fries were fried to perfection with a light semi-crunch as I plowed my way through the mini-basket (way better than the over-salted/over-seasoned Five Guys fries, I think).  For all those who enjoy a bit of spice in their food, I’d recommend trying their Cholula hot sauce on these fries to make a new American favorite that is mixed with Mediterranean ingredients and a little Latin panache.

Les Pommes Frites Avec Un Twist

Smashburger was a worthwhile experience for those who are looking for a good burger beyond Five Guys, Meatheads, the King, the Golden Arches, or any other place for that matter.  As I left the restaurant feeling thoroughly satisfied, I wish I could have tried more items, but unfortunately like my gargantuan pal, I’ll have to wait for next time whilst I drove into the sunset.  *Cue sad Hulk theme song*

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